A Dreamer's Tale
by SarahxEmmett
Summary: Clary's crypric dreams are stronger and stranger than ever before. These new runes she can't get out of her head seem more dangerous and lethal than any runes she's ever seen. What could they possibly mean? Does Clary even want to find out? Lemons & lang
1. Frustration

**A/N: FINALLY! You would not believe how long I've been wanting to get a Mortal Instruments fan fiction up! But what with my computer malfunctions, family situation, and schedule, it was near impossible! Now, after hundreds of MI fan fics were written and City of Glass was released, I am finally writing one and getting it up! I haven't had a chance to read barely any fanfics for a while, but I hope this idea isn't taken!**

**Chapter one: Frustration**

Clary awoke with a jolt and a moan. She looked around, sighing with relief that she was in her and Jace's room in the institute, and Jace stirring slightly beside her. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose.

_Just a dream. Just another strange, realistic dream._

She felt Jace's arm wrap loosely around her waist, comforting her even in his sleep. Shifting over to nuzzle up to him, she accidentally lifted her knee a little too high.

"By the Angel, Clary, what the hell was that for?" he moaned, his voice thick with sleep and heavy annoyance. He writhed in pain for a few seconds before forcing himself to straighten out.

"Sorry," she whispered, finally achieving the position she had aimed for, wrapped tightly in Jace's arms and snuggled to his broad chest.

"Still having trouble sleeping?" he asked, seeming to know just about everything about her.

"No," she lied, "the room just got a little drafty."

He held her tighter in his arms, making her feel a certain way that only Jace could make her feel. An indescribable feeling, one that she knew no one else could provide. It was like love, lust, trust, comfort, friendship, and romance rolled into one strong emotion. Stronger than any rune Clary could create.

Thinking of which....

Clary couldn't get the images of those damn runes out of her mind. They haunted her, forever etched in her mind. But could she possibly try them out? Create these unheard of runes that only she herself had even seen? Sure, she'd done it before, but that was different, those runes seemed... well, less dangerous, for one. There was something about these runes that she just couldn't get out of her mind. Damn it!

"Clary?" Jace mumbled, half-asleep.

"Yes?" she whispered.

"Go to sleep."

Clary laughed softly, wishing she could. Dreamless, deep sleep...

"Well...," he said, awakening more now, "if you can't sleep, and I'm wide awake now, we could always do something else... now what to do in this late hour, all alone? In my king-sized bed...?"

"Jace, you know what Marys said about that," Clary said, trying not to give in. God how she wanted to, but she knew Marys could very easily find out if anything were to happen between her and Jace. She'd set out a strict set of rules, all revolving around her and Jace's physical limitations with each other. Marys _had _been pretty lenient with her and Jace, she let them share Jace's room in the institute and sleep in the same bed, they had no curfew, but were responsible for getting up by eight-thirty for training, she really didn't set any rule but one; no sex. Of any sort. And what with truth runes, Clary's natural inability to lie, the walls that were polar opposite of soundproof, and the ridiculous squeakiness of the beds and the old building in general, sex was something that wouldn't get by Marys.

Why she was enforcing this rule with Jace now, Clary would never know. Jace assures her that she just doesn't want Clary to get hurt by Jace, or for Jace to do something stupid and ruin things himself, but Clary never felt exactly liked by Marys. Especially by the consequences Marys had promised; if the one rule was broken, Clary would have to move out of Jace's room to the empty one furthest away from Jace's, she and Jace would have a nine o'clock curfew, and they wouldn't be allowed alone in the same room with the door closed. And to top it all off she would—

Clary's train of thought was interrupted by Jace nudging her slightly. "Huh?"

"So it's settled then? Yes?" Jace asked, a wicked glint in his eyes.

"What? Oh, um, yeah," Clary answered, pretending like she knew whatever Jace was talking about.

"Great," he sighed in relief. "I was worried you'd find to weird that I like to cross-dress, but now that I know you're up for it, I can't wait! I can be Jessica and you can be Charlie... and as for the BDSM, it's decided that I'll be dom and you'll be sub, right? I have to admit, you're pretty brave for agreeing to try this with me, I _can_ get a little into it... but hopefully nothing a good healing rune can't fix, eh?"

Clary couldn't tell if color had risen to her cheeks or been completely drained from her face. Probably both, if somehow possible.

To Clary's utter relief and partial confusion, Jace started bursting out laughing. "Oh, God, Clary if only you could've seen you're face!"

"You were kidding?" Clary asked, still unsure.

"Yes, my dear, I was kidding."

"Too bad... that BDSM stuff sounded kinda fun," Clary said, a smile playing at her lips.

Jace started laughing again, but Clary raised her eyebrow, hinting that she wasn't kidding. And she might not have been...

"Clary, are you serious?" Jace asked, his expression changing slightly. A hint of excitement showed through his golden eyes.

"Maybe," she said, still unsure. She was still a virgin, and thanks to Marys she would surely stay one for a while.

"You're killing me, Clary," he moaned, throwing one of his perfectly sculpted arms over his eyes.

"How so?"

"Do you know how irresistible you are without even trying? And the fact that I can't even touch you, it's torture."

"You can touch me," Clary said, feeling extra bold. She couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth, and she even further couldn't believe what came to her mind when she thought that.

"I can?" he asked. He placed one of his well experienced hands on the curve of Clary's waist. Slowly and almost torturous, he slid it down her waist erecting goosebumps on Clary's skin. "I can touch you there?"

"Y-yes," Clary whimpered, hating the fact that they couldn't go much father.

"And how about," Jace said, sliding his hands down to a region that doesn't get enough attention, "here?"

"Yes," Clary whimpered a little louder, mentally scolding herself for not keeping her voice down.

His skilled hand quickly found her clit and began slowly moving it back and fourth, setting a slow and steady pace that would likely be the death of her. "Oh God!"

Clary knew she was getting too loud, but who could blame her? Jace quickly smothered her cries with a kiss that held more passion than Clary thought possible.

Clary felt something rather hard poking against her thigh, exciting her even more. She loved knowing she caused that to happen to him—sure he'd once gotten semi-hard from killing fifteen demons by himself in under half a minute, but either way, Clary loved it.

Things were definitely getting heated and Clary wasn't sure of either of them would be able to stop—if either of them _could _stop. Jace quickened his pace, resulting in Clary letting out an involuntary moan against his eager lips.

"_Ahem_."

Clary and Jace both froze to look at each other, slowly turning their heads toward the door, they saw who made the noise.

Isabelle.

They let out a simultaneous sigh of relief that they hadn't been caught by Marys.

"Do you guys even know how loud you're being?" Isabelle groaned at the doorway, obviously not pleased with being there, reprimanding Clary and Jace like they were her own kids.

They continued to stare, still not believing how close they were to being caught.

"Now, I could've very well gone back to bed, letting you two get busted by Mom, but _no_, I, being the saint I am, came up to warn you two... sex carnivores!"

Jace let out a laugh, soon joined by Clary.

"What?" Isabelle demanded.

"Did you really just call me a 'sex carnivore?'" Jace asked, entertained by the situation.

"Yes I did," Isabelle stated proudly.

Clary smiled. Nothing could beat Isabelle freshly woken up. At all. Nothing could beat Isabelle _asleep_, she may not make much sense when she sleep-talks, but it is pretty funny.

"Goodnight Isabelle," Jace sang in his melodic voice, a voice that could challenge the sirens, a voice that could make the Angel himself weep.

Isabelle huffed out of the room, mumbling something inaudible, making her way back to her own room. Most likely, she wouldn't even remember this in the morning. Isabelle can function pretty much in her sleep. You think she's awake, she talks to you, occasionally walks around, but really, she's still asleep for the most part, and can't remember a thing when she _really_ wakes up.

"What would we do without her?" Clary asked, snuggling up to Jace.

"Well, I'm guessing I wouldn't be in the current state I'm in."

"New York?" Clary asked, confused by what he meant. What would Isabelle have to do with him being in New York?

"No," Jace said in a slightly pained voice, "not that kind of state,"

Clary's eyes widened with understanding. "Oh." She realized his dilemma. While it was unsatisfying for Clary not to get any... er, release, it was more painful for Jace. "If you want to, I could..."

"No," Jace sighed. "You know Marys will probably ask us something in the morning what with all the noise we were making and she won't even need to use a truth rune with you."

Jace was right. Marys would've heard something and no doubt, and when she said 'no sex', she meant none at all, in any way. Which Clary really hoped was negotiable after time. Barely being able to touch Jace sucked.

"Well, go on," Clary said, blushing. She hoped she wouldn't have to elaborate further. It wouldn't have been the first time Jace had gotten his release in front of Clary, but just the thought of what Jace would be doing right next to her was enough to send her over the edge.

Jace answered with a kiss, and began stroking himself without delay. The bed moved slightly, and the sound of Jace getting himself off was too much for Clary. Her lower regions ached with neglect and want.

Still kissing Jace, she slipped a finger inside of her. Not to get herself off, but just to calm the ache.

Jace moaned against her lips, sending little vibrations against her lips. He was going faster, with more urgency, and Clary had slipped another finger in, moving it around a bit, hitting just the right spots. Clary knew he was getting close.

Although she wasn't really trying, when Jace came, Clary did, too. He came into a Kleenex, making it much easier to clean up, and by the time he had come back from throwing the tissue away, Clary had already drifted into a deep sleep.

"_It's your destiny. You must use the runes."_

_Clary didn't know where the voice was coming from, or who it belonged to, but she did know it wanted her to use the runes of her dreams—badly. _

_"Use the runes. You must. Only you can."_

_And apparently Clary was the only one who could use the runes. _

_"It's you're destiny."_

_"Clary, wake up."_

_And now it wanted her to wake up to use the rune..._

_"Wake up, baby."_

_And now it sounded a lot like Jace...._

Clary awoke with a jolt. Her dream had been much more calm than her past dreams about the damned runes, which she was thankful for. She actually felt kind of rested for once.

She looked up into the golden eyes of Jace.

"Hey, baby," she said sleepily. "What're you doing?"

"Trying to wake you up. You missed training today, but I convinced Marys you needed your sleep, you looked a lot more peaceful last night than you have for a while."

"No sleep-talking, or tossing and turning?"

"No screaming either," he confirmed with a smile and a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"An improvement, then!" she joked. "So what time is it?"

"A little after noon."

"What? How did I sleep that long?" she said, scrambling to get out of bed. Noon? Was he kidding her?

"Calm down, Clary, you needed the rest," Jace said, walking over to where she was, wrapping his arms around her. "Oh, and Marys heard us last night. She talked to me about it this morning."

Clary felt the color rise to her cheeks. "What'd you say to her?"

Jace started grinning. "I told her you had a very interesting dream last night. Good thing you weren't there, you're a horrible liar. Now if she asks you about it, all you have to do is look kinda embarrassed... yeah, like that."

"Jace..." Clary sighed. Great. Now Marys thinks Clary is having wet dreams about her son, just another reason not to like Clary.

"Shh... better not make it sound like you're _dreaming_ again."

"Oh, shut up. I'm hungry, let's go to Taki's," Clary said, hearing her stomach growl. "Right after I take a shower."

"Good idea, I think I'll join you," Jace said, grinning rather... suggestively.

"With the diner or the shower?" Clary asked, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around Jace's neck. She _wished_ she could do something like that.

"Both."

Clary rolled her eyes, ignoring how much she wanted to accept his offer. It really was getting ridiculous, the sexual tension between the two.

Clary decided she would take a nice _cold_ shower. She knew that's what Jace did a lot and she hoped it would work for her. She stepped in and didn't even bother turning on any hot water. That ought to take her mind off of things at least for a little while.

The shower was freezing. Clary swore she could see her breath, but on the plus side, all she could think about was getting out. She washed up quickly and stepped out, drying off and getting dressed just as quickly.

She stepped out, unable to wait for the heat of the blow-dryer.

She was still shivering a little when she came out, and her nose and cheeks were flushed from the cold.

"You okay, Clary?" Jace asked, looking up from the bed.

"F-fine. Just a little c-cold," she answered, desperate to find that damn blow-dryer. Of course, there were other ways of heating up, a more preferred way in Clary's opinion, but that was out of the question in this house.

"Cold shower?" Jace asked, all knowingly.

"Yeah," Clary sighed, fishing the blow-dryer out of the vanity Isabelle and Marys moved into their room.

"_How_ cold?" he asked.

"Not cold enough, apparently," Clary grumbled to herself. She turned the blow-dryer on high before she got a chance to hear Jace's response.

After a half hour, she was warm and ready.

"No, really, Clary, how cold?"

**A/N: I could go into detail about Jace and Clary's lunch and a bunch of more useless information, but I decided I'd stop here and get to work on the beginning of chapter two, (which will be much more eventful, I promise you!)**


	2. Distrust and Repressed Lust

**Sorry for the delay on getting this out! My Internet connection is bipolar and never lets me on when I want... well, that's what I get for cheaping out and using linksys for free, positioning my computer at just the right angle on a specific spot on my bed to get Internet. So at 5:21 in the morning, I'm finally updating :) 'cause, seriously, who needs sleep?! **

**Chapter two: Distrust and Repressed Lust**

Clary was walking down the halls of the institute, wondering if anyone was even home. She knew Jace and Alec went to do something, and Simon was at band practice, but where was everyone else?

She was about to give up and go somewhere else—anywhere else—when she heard a distinct evil laugh coming from the kitchen.

"Isabelle?" Clary asked walking into the kitchen, which turned out to be a big mistake.

Isabelle pounced on Clary with the precision of a jungle cat, knocking her to the floor and pinning her to the ground.

"Hi?" Clary said, almost in an inquisitive form. She was in fact inquisitive to why Isabelle had her pinned to the floor.

Isabelle threw her head back and laughed. "I'm a genius. Just admit it, I'm a genius!"

"If to helps me get up faster, then yes, Isabelle, you are a genius."

"I'm dating Freaky Pete," Isabelle said, a little too excited to be dating someone whose name began with the word "freaky".

"Okay...?" Clary said, before realization finally struck her. "Oh my God, _Freaky Pete!_"

"I know!" Isabelle said, proud of herself.

Clary finally realized why the name sounded familiar. Freaky Pete was the big guy from the werewolf bar that _Maia_ used to date. Not only would that make Maia jealous, but Simon, too. Plus, it would really bother her parents that not only was she dating a downworlder, but a downworlder named "Freaky Pete" who ran a werewolf bar. "You're a genius, but this may come back and bite you in the ass."

"Oh, I know. And I'm prepared for anything that will be thrown at me," Isabelle said proudly, standing up, offering a hand out to Clary, pulling her up like she weighed nothing.

"Okay..." Clary said, unsure weather that was true or not. Did Isabelle really think _everything_ through? "I just don't want to see you getting hurt."

"I'll be fine. He may be like, three times my size, but I think I can handle him if he gets too rough," Isabelle said, her smile lighting up her face.

"You know I wasn't talking about that!" Clary shouted with a laugh.

"Yeah. I know."

"So Freaky Pete..."

"I know! I bet my Heels Rule applies to him."

"No less than nine inches?" Clary asked.

"That's the one!"

"You're outrageous, Izzy," Clary said, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, here's an outrageous idea, let's go to Pandemonium!" Isabelle shouted out of the blue.

"Okay," Clary agreed. She had a feeling Isabelle was up to something, but she was bored, so she was going with it... for now. Once whatever Isabelle had in mind got Simon and Maia involved, which Clary was sure it would, Clary would be out of it. Staying neutral. Magnus was repeatedly pulled into the drama, and by default, Alec was, too. Poor Alec. He of all people wanted to stay neutral, but what with Magnus as his boyfriend and Isabelle as his sister, that was near impossible. Even for him. Jace, however, loved watching from the sidelines. This was like an episode of The Real World for him. Of course, he never watched The Real World because it was far too Mundane and their petty dramas, sloppy affairs, and drunken escapades bored him. Clary loved The Real World. And Real World/Road Rules Challenges. But they were absolutely Impossible to watch with Jace, who could win every challenge easily with a smug smile and an insult for every player. He was the Simon Cowell of MTV reality shows.

"Let's go pick out our outfits!" Isabelle exclaimed, nearly pulling Clary's arm off in the process of dragging her along. She was practically jumping up and down in the elevator.

Clary endured seven outfit changes, trying on four different pairs of shoes, merciless tugging, brushing, blow-drying, and curling of her hair, and Isabelle attacking her face with makeup. All the while, Isabelle was still in a silky black robe, sans makeup, and her hair wild and out of control. Of course, she still looked stunning.

"Now that I'm completely ready, are you going to get dressed?" Clary asked, wondering how much longer she would have to wait.

"You just wait right there," Isabelle said, disappearing into the bathroom.

Clary sighed, getting up to look around the room. If it took Isabelle that long to get Clary ready, she wondered how long Isabelle would take on _herself_.

"Done," Clary heard Isabelle say.

"No way in hell you're," Clary said, turning around to face a dressed, perfectly made-up, Isabelle. "Done..."

"Yeah," Isabelle said, running her fingers through her hair once, shaking it out a little.

"It took you an _hour_ to get me ready, and barely a minute to get ready yourself?" Clary asked incredulously and slightly upset that she needed so much more time to be not even half as pretty as Isabelle is 24/7.

"No, I was already dressed under my robe, my hair was done from earlier, and I did my makeup exceptionally quick."

It looked like Isabelle took hours to do her makeup. It was perfect. She had soft, ebony waves framing her face, smoky, perfectly blended eye-makeup, and smooth, pouty, pink lips that looked naturally that way, no slimy gloss that gets in your hair or unnaturally bright lip stick.

Clary didn't think she looked half bad either. Her fiery red curls looked wild and beachy, but in a sexy way, not a messy, knotted way. Her lips had dark lip stain on them, which Clary personally thought just looked like she went a little too crazy with a Popsicle, but Isabelle assured was sexy, and her eye makeup was shimmery and light, making her eyelashes look thinker and darker, and her green eyes pop.

As for their outfits, Clary was a little embarrassed to be showing as much skin as she was. Isabelle was wearing a dress with a plunging V-neck, it's material almost the color of her skin, only a few shades darker, overlaid with black lace, and Clary was wearing a strapless, silky, emerald green dress with black lace bordering around the bust and hemlines. Isabelle got to wear classic, freakishly tall, black pumps, and Clary wore black death traps with straps wrapping all the way up her calves.

She never dressed this way when she used to go with Simon, but things had surely changed since then. A lot.

They hailed a cab down to the club and Isabelle grabbed her arm, dragging her to the front of the line the second they got out. A few flirty words from Isabelle, and they were in.

No runes showed on their skin, they were there to have fun, not hunt demons. Just in case, Isabelle kept her whip coiled tightly around one leg, showing itself occasionally, and a seraph blade on the other and Clary kept a stele strapped to her right leg and a smaller seraph blade strapped to her left, hidden somehow under their her short dress. This Clary had already gotten used to. She felt like a part of her was missing when she didn't have her stele with her nowadays.

"Looking for someone?" Clary asked, noticing Isabelle scanning the crowd.

"Nope!" Isabelle said, focusing her attention back on Clary. "Just sizing up the competition!"

Clary opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off before she could even speak.

"Let's dance!"

With that, Clary was pulled to the dance floor and back against Isabelle. She was kind of frozen, even if Isabelle had made her endure this before.

"Move, Clary!" Isabelle yelled, and Clary began to walk away, only to be pulled back by an amused Isabelle. "Not like that, I mean dance!"

Clary swallowed her pride, common sense, and self consciousness, and began to slowly move her hips to the beat of the song.

"You're still too stiff," Isabelle stated, backing away for a second. "This should loosen you up."

A silver flask was opened and handed to Clary. She sniffed it and handed it back. Was Isabelle crazy? Not that Clary had much experience, but she was pretty sure that was vodka in there.

"Drink it, Clarissa Fray Morgenstern Fairchild Graymark!" That was a little joke between the kids at the institute, since her and Jace grew up with names that weren't theirs.

_Jace Wayland Morgenstern Harondale Lightwood!" Clary called, angry at Jace for not turning off the water in the shower all the way, resulting in a cold shower for Clary._

_"Yes, Clarissa Fray Morgenstern Fairchild Graymark?" Jace replied sweetly, a smug smile most likely on his soft lips. _

_Clary rolled her eyes. Since she wasn't "Fray" anymore, and she would never be "Morgenstern", not in a lifetime, and since her mom married Luke, she wasn't sure weather "Fairchild" or "Graymark" would be appropriate, since she was probably going to change her name, and Luke was already like her father._

_"That's what I thought!" Jace called from their room._

_"Shut up, loser!" Clary yelled, turning off the water._

_"Since we're apparently in the second grade now, I am _so_ telling!" _

"Missin' anyone, much?" Isabelle asked, snapping Clary out of her Jace-oriented thoughts.

"Just thinking about Jace," Clary answered truthfully. Thank God he wasn't her brother. Even though they still couldn't touch each other.

Isabelle said nothing, only handed the flask back to Clary.

Clary sighed and took a burning sip. Then another. Then a gulp, feeling the warmth spread throughout her body.

"There we go!"

Soon, both girls were tipsy, borderline pretty drunk, actually. But Clary had forgotten all about Jace and their sexual tension. All she could think about was dancing with Isabelle and not throwing up.

"So is Simon here?" she asked, throwing her body around like any _loosened _teenager would

"No, but Maia was," Isabelle shouted over the music. "She's gone, though."

Clary looked around. Jeez, almost everyone was gone. What time was it, anyway? She glanced down at the sliver watch on her wrist, not able to make out the time due to the flashing lights glinting off the small surface.

"I'm hungry, let's go," Clary said, pulling Isabelle out instead of vice versa for once.

Once they were outside in the semi-fresh New York air, they turned separate ways, still holding onto each other.

"Where are you going?" Isabelle asked, "I thought you were hungry. Let's go to Taki's."

"Oh no. We're tipsy, hungry teenagers coming back from a club. We're doing this the right way and going to Waffle House."

Isabelle whipped out her phone and stared at the screen intently. "At three in the morning?"

"Of course."

The two girls made their way to the Waffle House, conveniently only a block away. All the while, Clary was listening to tales of Isabelle killing countless demons countless ways.

"...so then I used my scarf to make a noose, I fastened it around my waist and slipped it off, which was a little complicated, but I'm good at knots, so it worked. I slipped it over a couple demon's heads, yanked it up, and they just poofed right out of the scarf!"

The thought about demons and their "poofing" sobered Clary up almost instantly. As of late, she'd been wondering _where _exactly they went**.**

"So demons... they go back to their dimensions when they die? And there's no way of getting to where they go? And they have to die to go to their world? If they die in their world to they die for good? And if—"

"Clary?" Isabelle asked, cutting her off mid-rant. "Shut up. Please."

"Sorry," Clary apologized, knowing Isabelle wouldn't be able to answer any of her questions.

They got to the Waffle House, Clary ordered chocolate chip pancakes, drenching them with syrup. Isabelle opted with waffles, picking at them in a slightly stuck up manor.

"Something wrong with your waffles, Isabelle?"Clary asked, taking a swig of chocolate milk,

"No, no," Isabelle said, taking a meager bite. "They're great."

They soon finished up and Clary paid, walking outside into the fresh New York morning. It was still dark out, but the sky was a pretty indigo, as clean as it would get.

They linked arms and took their time walking back to the Institute, preparing themselves for whatever they had in store.

About an hour later, Clary was in her and Jace's room, listening to a lecture from Jace, one much worse than the one from Marys and Robert.

"...Do you even know how worried I was about you? And for fuck's sake, _Waffle House_?! That's the absolute last place I would check. I swear, Clary, I'm getting you a cell phone and you're going to take it with you everywhere you go and it will always be on high. Weather you like it or not. Jesus, do you even know how long you were gone for? How worried Alec and I were? What if something bad had happened to you? You didn't even leave a damn note! And the fact that you've been losing sleep and you're not even on your guard, and I swear, I smell alcohol! You can't even _try_ to hide that one! Seriously, Clary, to think—"

"STOP!!!" Clary yelled, cutting Jace off before he could continue. "I'm sorry you were worried, and I'm sorry I was gone so long, but do you really have such little faith in me? Such little trust?" Clary asked, raising her voice a little. She knew Jace was protective and she knew he worried, but it was pissing her off.

"It's not that I don't trust you, or that I don't have faith in you, it's just that I worry. I fucking love you, Clary, and this is all fairly new to me, okay?" Jace said sharply, but with a hint of emotion in his voice.

"You 'fucking love me'?" Clary asked, dragging on the dreaded argument even further out. She didn't mean to, she didn't _want _to, she just did. "That's so romantic and justified, Jace!"

"All I want is for you to maybe tell me where you're going so I don't have to pull my hair out wondering if you're okay or not and who the hell you're with."

"Who I'm with? Did you think I would be with someone other than Isabelle? And if I was would that be such a problem? Do I need your permission to go out with anyone other than you now? Do you just want to piss a damn circle around me, marking your territory?"

Clary didn't give him a chance to respond, instead, she ran to him, throwing her arms around him defined, muscular body, letting her tears fall freely. She hated arguing with Jace. She hated it. She loved him and she knew he meant well, she knew he was new to relationships, and she knew he loved her. Clary didn't know why she had to be so difficult with him sometimes. She was sure Jace was wondering the same thing, too.

He leaned his head down to rest it on top of Clary's, stroking her hair, comforting her.

And all the regretful words shared between the two were silently forgiven.

**AN: I can't believe people actually like this story! The response for my last chapter made me so happy :P And please try to put up with me while I get the hang of third-person point of view. I'll be switching it up from Clary to Jace to some of the other characters from here on out, but I've always felt more comfortable with first person. Actually I like writing in second person POV, too, but I try to stick with whatever the original book is written on when I'm on FF ;) lol. Review? **


	3. Can't Touch This

**Chapter three: Can't Touch _This_**

"You almost ready?" Clary heard Jace ask from outside the bathroom.

Clary emerged as soon as he finished knocking, stepping out in a tight, plain black, racerback tank, and a short black and white crocheted skirt. She had on the shortest black heels Isabelle would allow her—which was still four inches—and a black and white cameo pin. Not too dressy, more light and summery. It wasn't exactly summer, but it was still warm.

The occasion was Magnus's party, the first one Clary will have gone to since the night Simon turned into a Darkling. The night that it became inevitable for him to become a vampire.

Simon still claims that the vampire thing is perfect for him. He even claims it's helped his band gain it's newfound popularity.

At least he was still able to go out into the sun. And the Mark hasn't shown any long term or negative side effects other than the fact that he never likes staying in one place for long periods of time. He'd turn full-out nomadic one day, Clary was sure of it. Following his prey wherever it take him...

She felt Jace take her hand, pulling her out of their room. He looked sinfully sexy in dark wash jeans that fit him perfectly, and a black button down shirt with its cuffs rolled up at quarter length, thin enough to faintly outline his broad chest and defined muscles. He was almost too sexy. For two reasons; one, Clary wasn't sure how long she could control herself around him, and two, she _hated_ the way girls looked at Jace, like Clary wasn't there and Jace was a piece of meat each one of them wanted to take a bite out of.

Simon met them outside the Institute, Maia at his side. Maia was _always_ at his side nowadays. It was beginning to piss Clary off, but she did note that Simon was getting more and more irritable around her lately, snapping at her, rolling his eyes at her, ignoring her every now and then. And she just couldn't take the hint. She was sabotaging whatever chances she had with Simon all by herself, much to Isabelle's pleasure.

Clary loved both Maia and Isabelle, but she loved Simon more and out of the two, Clary saw Isabelle as the better candidate. It wasn't that she liked Isabelle more, but she was just a better match for him. She hated to say it, but Simon's head was getting pretty big lately, what with his band getting more popular, girls throwing themselves him nonstop, the constant cat fight between the Shadowhunter and the Downworlder. Not to mention every since his transformation, not only has he become more attractive, but more graceful and athletic. He could do things no one else at school could and that wasn't even using any effort. And Maia was only feeding his ego, making it bigger and bigger. Clary knew Isabelle could keep that from happening, that she could keep him in place.

"Looking good, Fray," Simon said, making it clear that, to him, she would always be Clary Fray, even if the last name was fictional.

"You're not lookin' too bad yourself, Lewis," Clary smiled, knowing what an understatement that really was. She wasn't afraid to admit it; her best friend was a total hottie. He was really playing up his "rocker image" with black faded skinny jeans, showing off his slim but toned figure, a thin white tee shirt with his band's name on it—after going through hideous names like Laundry Demonstration, Killing Sheila, (after Eric's girlfriend, Sheila, was caught cheating on him), White Board/Black Hand, and Sleep For The Sinister, (which Clary didn't think was half bad, but the band thought it was too long)—The Raveners, red custom made Converse, and one of those really big, loose black vest-type things.

The Raveners band logo was going to be the disgusting, unintelligent demon, drawn by Clary herself, but her and Simon decided to change it simply to a raven. Hugo, Hodge's Raven, to be exact. The band all liked it, Clary liked it, and soon after, Simon got a tattoo of the logo on his left shoulder blade with _The Raveners_ written underneath. That was how sure he was of the band.

Their music was really good, too. They were getting pretty big. Then, Simon made some connections, and the awesome tee shirts were dispensed to the band, friends of the band, and a select few who they decided to sell them too.

Simon even got an "edgy" hair cut, the front coming down diagonally over his left eye, half-way covering his Mark that refused to leave. The back was shorter, and tousled, slightly spiked up in a messy-fashion. It looked good, but Clary couldn't help but comment on how similarly it rivaled the "Kate Cut" originally starting with Kate Gosselin on John and Kate Plus Eight. Needless to say, Simon quickly and temperamentally resented it. But, really, how much more clichéd could you get? On a guy or a girl, that haircut should be band for being way too overdone. She was pretty sure Simon was just mad because he couldn't change his hair if he wanted to, not without going even shorter, since his hair no longer grew.

Clary hadn't even realized they, Simon, Maia, Isabelle, Alec, Jace, and her, were walking to the subway.

When they all crammed into the crowded subway, Jace and Isabelle were the only two to land a seat. Clary didn't mind standing, but apparently Jace did. She felt a pair of strong arms, no matter how familiar, never failing to make her heart speed up and the tingling feeling of wherever he was touching her to spread throughout her entire body, pull her down.

She landed on Jace's lap a little to hard and ungracefully by the sound he made, but he picked the wrong time to grab her, right as they went into motion.

"Sorry," Clary squeaked shifting her weight around a little to make herself comfortable.

"Clary, could you maybe stop doing that?" Jace whispered in an almost pained voice.

Clary knew by the hardening she felt underneath her that he wasn't asking her to stop for his sake, but for hers. Because God knows what an overly-aroused Jace would do to her on a subway. When it came to sex, Jace lost almost all of his discretion.

_If that really were the case, then why the hell am I still a virgin?_ Clary asked herself.

Clary was getting pretty damn sick of that pesky hymen of hers. Why couldn't she and Jace just do the deed and get rid of it for good? It was so infuriating.

"We're almost there," Alec half-squealed. Clay barley ever saw him get excited, he contained his emotions so well. It was sweet to see him get worked up over seeing Magnus.

Magnus and Alec had probably gone further than Clary and Jace. Stupid sexually active warlock and his Shadowhunter boyfriend.

By the time they arrived, Clary was already wanting to go back to the Institute. She wasn't in a very partying mood. And she knew that the night would sure as hall be a long one.

Simon walked through Magnus's door with two girls. Two decisions. Two choices. Ever since coming back from Alicante, he'd been flocked with girls. But, really, the decision only came down to the two on either side of him.

There was the sexy, seductive Isabelle, who let you know where your place was and kept you there. She was guarded, she kept thirty-inch thick steel walls up at all times. Actually it was like a steel dome, steel _sphere_ that could only be opened from the inside. But once you got inside, it was a beautiful, deep, sad vulnerable place that you never wanted to leave. It was also an abrasive place. She snapped easily, but that was nothing. When she _really_ snapped, it was worse than a category five hurricane.

Then there was Maia. She had the least-guarded tongue Simon had ever known. She let you know how she felt about you, and that she could kick your ass if you pissed her off. She may have a loose tongue, but she also had many secrets that Simon was dying to find out about. But she was clingy. He didn't blame her for that, he could tell under her hard exterior, she had a difficult time feeling truly safe. But lately it was getting on more than Simon's nerves.

Simon knew he should just let them both down easily and leave. Leave his mother, his best friend, his band, his love triangle. But he was too selfish. He knew he should make up some story about falling in love with an immortal Downworlder and leave everyone. They'd be better off without him.

"Let's dance," Maia said, whisking Simon away, as far away from Isabelle as possible it seemed.

But that didn't matter. Isabelle was dating Maia's rather intimidating ex, Freaky Pete. Simon knew it was to spark jealousy in Maia and him, and it worked. Simon was a little jealous, and Maia was fumingly so.

Maia ground herself against him, dancing a little _too_ over the top. Sure, it gave Simon's body the reaction she was hoping for, but deep down, she knew Isabelle did so much more. She subtlety seduced him with bother her mind and body.

Of course, he was attracted to them both. Any straight mind would be. But was he in love with them? Or were they yet another couple of rebound girls? Simon knew he still loved Clary—as more than a friend. Not that he let her know that, that would just hurt her, he wasn't stupid. But she was happy with Jace. Somehow. Personal feelings for the pretentious ass aside, he treated Clary pretty well. She deserved him. Weather Jace deserved her? He wasn't sure. No one deserved Clary in his opinion.

"Simon," Maia whispered, so low that any human couldn't hear above the music. "Let's get out of here. Isabelle and Clary have both obviously moved on. We're meant to be."

"Whoa," Simon said, backing away. "Look, I'm sixteen. I'm really not looking for '_meant to be_' just yet."

He knew it was a little harsh, but it had to be done.

Alec watched Magnus have a great time at his party. He was glad Magnus was happy, but would it hurt to talk to his boyfriend, say... at all? Maybe a simple "hi" by the end of the night?

Magnus was having a blast... flirting with all the guys _and_ girls. Well, maybe he wasn't exactly _flirting _with the girls, but he wasn't exactly steering clear of them, either. Or the men.

Alec downed his fourth drink. He wasn't a crazy drunk, he wasn't an obnoxious drunk, he wasn't a violent drunk. He was a brooding drunk. No wonder Magnus didn't want to be with him, he was no fun, not good enough for Magnus.

Jeez, what was in that last drink? Whatever, it's not like it mattered.

"You're dating Magnus Bane, right?"

Alec snapped his head up to see two guys staring at him expectantly. "Yes..."

"Well, good luck with that. Tell him to treat you better than he did Ivan, okay?" he asked, abruptly turning around with no further explanation.

So, Magnus was player. He figured that much, it was pretty obvious. He probably didn't even want to be tied down to Alec.

_Ivan. Was that who came up to him, or was he just a friend of Ivan's?_ Alec wondered.

Again, not like it mattered. Magnus probably dated both men who came up to him.

Alec wasn't even in the mood to flirt with them to make Magnus jealous. Magnus sure was, though. What a great idea, coming to this party was. Alec knew he could never live up to Magnus. He may as well just go home.

He made his way through the crowd, but not before grabbing another drink for the road. Right as he had his hand on the knob, Alec felt a hand on him.

"Don't touch me," Alec snapped before even turning around to see who it was.

"That certainly wasn't your motto last night..."

Alec froze up, not expecting Magnus to notice him leaving.

"What do you want, Magnus?" he asked in an exasperated voice.

"I want you to stay, obviously, or I wouldn't be grabbing your arm," Magnus reasoned, pulling Alec back to the party.

"Well, I'm not in much of a partying mood, so I think I'm going to head out," Alec said, reaching for the door again.

"You're no fun," Magnus complained.

"Yeah, I know."

Clary and Jace walked into the party hand in hand. She had no desire to let go for the rest of the night, she wanted everyone to know that he was hers and she was his.

"I'm gonna go get us some drinks," Jace shouted over the music, letting her hand go.

So much for not letting go of him the entire night.

Clary sighed, making sure to follow behind him. She still wasn't used to Downworlder parties, and she didn't want to be alone.

She saw Jace talking to some vampire girl, laughing like they were old friends. She reached her hand up towards Jace.

She did _not_ just touch his arm. Every Seventeen magazine clearly states arm touching is the epitome of flirting.

Clary watched in horror as the vampire vixen leaned up to whisper something in Jace's ear. His eyes widened and he backed away some, rubbing the back of his neck. Clary could see clearly, but it was nothing without being able to hear them.

Jace had a strange strained face on his look, confusing Clary. Until she saw the girl's hands very south of where they should be. After what seemed like too long, Jace pulled her hands back up, pushing her back some.

But that was it for Clary, she was done. She wanted to go home—not to the Institute, but to Luke's place, who was currently in Idris with her mother. She wanted to make some hot chocolate and curl up with one of his books

She pushed her way through the crowed, making her way to the door, but not before someone grabbed her arm.

She jerked her arm out of—most likely—Jace's grip. "I'm leaving."

"I could tell," A voice that certainly didn't belong to Jace told her. "And you look like you're leaving for the same reason as me."

"Alec?" she asked, turning around to face the Shadowhunter she wasn't exactly close with.

"Yeah. Wanna go to Taki's?" he asked, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"I was going to head over to Luke's actually," she admitted, not really wanting to go somewhere that so reminded her of Jace.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked, looking even more uncomfortable than he did before.

"Of course not," Clary said, touched Alec wanted to spend alone time with her, and in such a different environment for him. "Come on."

They walked down to the side of the street, and hailed a cab, taking it to Luke's. To say to was an awkward ride over would be an understatement.

"So this is Luke's bookstore," Clary said, pointing out the obvious. "And apartment."

They went through the bookstore to Luke's apartment. Luckily, Clary had an extra key with her.

Clary got a head start on making the hot chocolate while Alec looked around in Luke's personal library.

She brought out the hot chocolate and a Toblerone bar, just like Luke used to do.

"Thanks, Clary," Alec said, accepting the beverage and half of the candy bar.

"No problem," Clary said, dipping a chocolate triangle in the hot liquid. "So why'd you leave the party?"

"Magnus," Alec sighed, sucking the melting chocolate. "He's like two different people, you know? There's the sweet, understanding, funny Magnus I...," he coughed and looked a little uncomfortable for a moment, before regaining his composure, "fell in love with. And then there's the cocky, flirty, single-guy partying Magnus. Like the one in there. He tells me he doesn't know what I'm talking about and that he's the same Magnus twenty-four/seven, but I don't know... I don't even think he knows what the problem is."

"I know what you mean," Clary sighed. "Jace and I have the most amazing relationship... when we're not fighting. Lately we've just been snapping at each other nonstop, and I'm worried that our relationship is failing. And not only that, but there's the constant string of girls throwing themselves at him constantly, most of which make it painfully clear they've had some kind of... _history_ with Jace, and the fact that I can't even touch him is just icing in the fucking cake!"

"One, Clary, the keyword is _history_. In the past. Over with. Trust me when I tell you that Jace has eyes for only you, and he, er... _wants_ things just as much as you do, probably more. And the fighting I'm sure is due to the pent up frustration between you two. Magnus and I were that way when I was a little more shy around him."

Clary could see how hard this conversation was for Alec, but the fact that he was telling her what he was, meant so much. "Alec? Magnus has been single for more than seven hundred years. Don't you think a relationship may be a quite a leap? Does he know you left?"

"No. Just like Jace doesn't know you left," Alec pointed out all-knowingly.

"Good. I hope he worries," was all Clary said, feeling slightly ashamed about it.

"You know he will, Clary. And you know what he'll do to try to find you. He'll go crazy. At least leave him a message, you don't even have to tell him where you are, just that you're okay."

"I guess you're right," Clary sighed, locating her phone.

She picked it up and saw she had four missed calls from Simon, two from Isabelle, eight from Jace, and quite a few texts and voice messages from the trio. She knew Jace had put them up to it. Simon even said so in a couple texts. Then she had a few from Magnus, telling her that Jace was terrorizing his guests and also wondering if she'd seen Alec.

**I'm with Alec. We left early.**

That was all she told Jace. She knew he'd tell Simon, Isabelle, and Magnus the news.

Before she could even put her phone back down it buzzed in her hand, letting her know she had a new message from Jace.

**Institute. Now.**

_Yeah right, buddy, _she thought to herself, angered at how Jace acted as if he had control over her, like he _owned_ her.

She didn't reply to tell him no, but that didn't stop him from rephrasing himself.

**Where are you guys? I'm coming over**_**.**_

___And again, yeah right_. She didn't respond to that either. She was safe, and that was all he needed to know.

She turned her phone off, heading back to the living room where Alec was.

"They know we're okay," Clary announced.

"Do they know where we are?" Alec asked, finishing off his chocolate.

"No, but that didn't stop Jace from demanding my presence at the Institute and my location."

Clary finished her hot chocolate around the same time Alec finished his. She took their dishes into the kitchen to rinse them out.

"I don't understand it, Alec. Why he acts like he owns me, like I'm one of his weapons, but that's all. We don't do nearly as much as other couples, he can go do whatever he wants, have all the girls he want flirting with him nonstop, and I'm not allowed to go to the Waffle House without his permission, and even if he knows who I'm with and that I'm safe, he demands me to drop what I'm doing and come rushing back to him. Go check your phone, I'm sure he's demanded to know where you are."

"Yes, Jace has inquired about our location, but only because he cares. When other women flirt with him, he doesn't flirt back. He talks to them, he's not going to be rude by ignoring them, but he doesn't want anything from anyone but you. And has he ever just run off, not telling you where he's going to be? Even by accident?"

"No... you're right. I'm acting much too immature for this. For a relationship. I'm new at it, too, just in a different way than Jace."

"Then, really, you guys are kind of on the same page, aren't you? Maybe not in the same book, but you both know where each other is coming from, do you not?"

"Where were you when I was dating Simon?" Clary laughed. "I definitely could have used your relationship insight then."

"I was kind of struggling with some issues of my own back then. I doubt I would have been any help."

"I'm glad I'm getting to know you better, Alec. You're not as snobby, arrogant, and self-important as I thought you were when I first met you."

"You, too, Clary. You're definitely not the naïve, immature, selfish girl I thought you were when you first came into our lives."

They laughed a little over that, realizing how true bother statements were.

"I should see Jace," Clary admitted.

"And I should see Magnus, although his house isn't the private environment I'm seeking at the moment."

"Thank you, Alec, it was great talking to you," Clary said, stepping forward to give him a hug. He was stiff at first, but them he relaxed, giving into it.

"I'm going to go back to Magnus's, you go see Jace," Alec said as they walked out of the bookstore entrance. Clary locked it up, following him out.

Jace knew that Clary would be the death of him. She knew how to push his buttons just right, weather seducing him or infuriating him it didn't matter.

But she was safe. She was safe and that's all that mattered. She was probably even angrier with him than he was her.

Jace decided to go to the practice room to work off his stress. The punching bag was definitely first. Then the weights, then the tred.

Twenty minutes into it, on the weights, he heard someone enter the room.

"Clary," he said, putting the weights down to hug her, even though he was sweaty and gross. She didn't mind, she hugged him back.

They walked back upstairs to their room, where Jace sat on the bed, Clary standing before him. He took her hands in his.

"I haven't been myself lately. I'm sorry for being such a controlling ass, and the newness of being in a serious relationship is no excuse, I just—"

"Listen," Clary said, cutting him off. "We're both new at this, just not in the same way. You're experienced with girls, just not with relationships, and I'm just not experienced at all. Like Alec said, we're on the same page, but maybe in different books."

"So what should we do? Take it slower?" Jace said, not wanting to. If anything, he wanted to take things to the next level.

"I think we've set a pretty good pace, we just don't know what to do with it."

"I couldn't agree more," Jace said, pulling Clary down to his lap.

"Just out of curiosity... how many girls have you... been with?" Clary asked biting her lower lip nervously.

"Define 'been with'," Jace said. "In the literal sense, I've been with many girls, guys, too. Being with them as in being in their presence."

"I mean," Clary said, taking a deep breath. "How many women have you had sex with?"

Jace was slightly taken aback by her bluntness. "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to, Clary."

"But I want to know the answer, Jace," she insisted.

"You can't take back what you know," Jace warned.

"Technically you can," Clary quipped. "Magnus had been doing it to me for years."

"Ignorance is bliss? What you don't know won't hurt you?" Jace tried.

"Enough with the damn clichéd quotes, Jace, just tell me."

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters to me. Tell me. It's nothing you can change, so I won't be mad about it," Clary said, her voice softening. Jace was going to upset her either way, telling her or not telling her, and he hated that.

"Maybe around twenty. I would take back every one of them if I could, Clary, you know that."

She just nodded, looking a little hurt. It was the worst reaction, in Jace's eyes. He would much rather her yelling at him, telling him what a man-whore he was than this. This looked like it truly hurt her.

"Any," she said, swallowing a little. "Any of them after we met?"

"Yes. When you were with Simon. I felt like if you were going to try to move on, I should, too. It wouldn't be fair to either of us if I didn't try, if I only pined after you, making it that much harder on the both of us. But it felt so wrong, and I couldn't even go through with it. And then once more after that, but again, I hated it. I felt ashamed of myself, but you've got to remember, this was when I thought you were my sister."

Clary nodded, her eyes glazed over a little with pent up tears. "I'm going to bed."

Jace hugged her and leaned in to kiss her neck, but she stiffened at his touch, flinching away a little.

"Not yet, Jace. Let it sink in."

Jace nodded and went to take a shower while Clary put herself to bed. He hated himself for everything he did in his past. Every_one_ he did in his past. It wasn't fair to Clary and he didn't deserve her at all.

**A/N: End of chapter three! One of my longest, I'd say. I don't feel like I'm capturing the characters well enough, so I'm going to re-read the books, in hopes that I can do a little better. Review! **


	4. Goddess

**Chapter four: Goddess**

**A/N: I'm so mad at myself! I was re-reading this story, and my little breaker-thing (the one I put when I switch POVs) doesn't show up in FanFiction! Making my story kinda hard to understand, what with it just jumping around POVs randomly. So I apologize for that, I'll be correcting that from this chapter on.**

**Another note, this chapter is dedicated to ClarissaMorgenstern, (http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1713533/ClarissaMorgernstern), because without her help, there would be no chapter four... and with no chapter four, there would be no rest of the story, so after you read this, go read her stuff :)**

That night, Clary was more restless than ever. It was like she wasn't even sleeping, something that tiring and energy-draining could not count as sleeping. She was confident she would be more rested awake.

She saw horrible things, horrible creatures, horrible outcomes if she didn't use the runes. She saw death. Everything she saw in her dreams reeked of death. She saw the runes. The lethal looking runes. They weren't anything she could comprehend, but somehow the words _sightless, soundless, and scentless_ came into her mind. Like they were being whispered by the runes themselves in a horrible , daunting voice. Only, she'd used all three of those runes, and none of them looked like the ones in her head.

She wanted to wake up, but she couldn't. She felt trapped in her own mind, unable to leave. Like she was in a coma_._ Was this possibly what her mother went through?

Over and over and over again, she saw the three runes. She saw disgusting, dangerous creatures she couldn't possible fathom on her own. She saw death. And then she saw one more rune, one completely unreadable, frighting rune. A rune you would have to kill her to get on her body. The only thing she knew about this rune was that it looked much too dangerous to be drawn on anyones skin. What would happen if it was drawn on a human? She didn't want to know.

Finally, she awoke with a gasp. Jace was sleeping peacefully beside her, unaware of the mental stress Clary was going through.

She got up quietly, without moving the bed. Pulling on a hoodie of Jace's, she tip-toed off to the basement.

She wasn't in the mood to hail a cab or get in a wreck with her awful driving, so she decided to portal over to Luke's. She needed to be alone, and no better—or other, for that matter—place than there.

Watching the rune open up into endless possibilities of locations, she cleared her mind and thought of nothing but Luke's living room.

Once she was there, face down on the hardwood floor, she brushed herself off and began looking around the kitchen for something to keep her awake.

Nervousness took over her body, anxiety coursing through her. She wasn't sure what she was so nervous for, but she hated the feeling.

As much as she hated it, she was also semi-familiar with it. Anxiety. Clary couldn't remember a time when she didn't have panic attacks. They didn't come too often, but completely overtook her when they did. The first when she was five, going off to kindergarten for the first time. She thought her mother wasn't going to come back for her and she felt like she was going to die then and there, in that bright, happy classroom.

From then on out, she would have them from time to time, but making sure to keep herself in check if people were around, and if she started hyperventilating, she would make sure she was alone. No one except for her mom, Luke, and various school nurses knew about it. Even Simon and Jace were in the dark on the subject.

She wasn't having a panic attack yet, but one was sure to come. The sickening anxiety was enough to keep her from going to sleep for however long it takes for her to feel right again.

The quick beating of her heart, the fluttering in her stomach, the sweating, the heavy breathing, the cold, sticky feel of her skin. She hated it.

She tried watching TV, but nothing held her interest. She couldn't focus on what she was watching. Her dreams coursed through her mind as if she were still sleeping.

Reading was pretty much an equal failure. A little more of a distraction, though,but not for long.

So instead, she scoured the kitchen again, looking for something to keep her awake. She was afraid to go back to sleep, afraid she might not be able to wake up. She knew when she was having a panicky day, energy drinks were the last thing she needed to keep her calm, but she was running out of options. She couldn't go to sleep.

A Red Bull. Clary preferred Monster, but she didn't really have a choice in the matter.

She downed it quickly, not really paying much attention to it. Her mind was elsewhere.

She thought about Jace, about the ridiculous number of women he'd been with, but also what she and Alec talked about. She thought about her mom and Luke in Idris. She thought about the Lightwoods and her beloved Downworlder friends. But above all, she thought about her dreams and the runes that seem to be etched in her brain.

Trying to take her mind off of things, she wandered around the apartment. She knew everything about the apartment, though. It was like trying to entertain yourself by looking at your own house you've lived at for as long as you can remember. There was one room that she wasn't too familiar with...

She made her way to Luke's bedroom, a place she never really spent much time in, not that she could remember.

It was a bleak room. Not one Luke actually spent much time in. A dark wooden dresser, a white nightstand, a midnight blue bed, with various pictures of Clary and Jocelyn and other random trinkets were all that decorated the room.

She walked around, noticing the thin layer of dust that settled over about every surface in the room. She was careful not to touch anything or move things around, Luke of all people would be able to notice something like that.

His nightstand drawer was slightly askew, though, opened just a little with a few papers hanging out. Curiosity overcame her common sense as she made her way over. She was dead set on not snooping, just looking, but that plan had failed the second she slowly and carefully opened the drawer.

Inside were ordinary wrinkled papers, a few frame-less pictures, some scattered pens and whatnot. But none of those things caught Clary's attention. The box of Trojans sitting square in the middle of them all was what did it.

Clary's cheeks heated up in embarrassment, even though she was the only one near by. At least the box was unopened, in perfect condition, never been touched.

It reminded Clary of Simon's mom, who supplied Simon with a box of condoms when he was just fifteen, and showed him and Clary (on a vegetable, of course) how to put it on. She took these precautions because she was dead set on the idea of Simon and Clary together, and she didn't want them to finally realize their love for one another and get too caught up in throes of passion to care about protection, especially if it weren't accessible and they didn't know how to use it. Almost her words exactly, scarily enough.

Clary made sure to put the drawer back to it's original position, slightly jutting out, and left the room.

Again, Clary began to wonder aimlessly through the house, not really paying attention to where she was going.

She didn't even notice when she ran into a shelf, knocking one off Luke's little statues down.

She picked it up, noticing it was Kali, the Indian goddess of destruction, one of her personal favorites. She looked so victorious and powerful, standing strong with her head tossed back, a holding a powerful sword in one hand, a disfigured, severed head in the other, waving them through the air with pride.

She was more than a bad-ass warrior, created to kill demons who could be killed by no other, mortal or otherwise, she was a leader, a powerful goddess.

The statuette became hot all of the sudden, not unbearably so, just kind on shocking.

Her head and feet were cool, but as Clary slid her fingers up and down, she noticed it was the hottest around the shoulders.

Not the shoulders, though, the wrists, horizontal and very close the shoulder in the way she was standing.

In tiny, tiny script, Clary noticed something on the wristband of the goddess, something strange. She squinted to see it, finally making out three little symbols.

Symbols known to no one but Clary and whoever was sending them to her.

Only three of them, though. Soundless, Sightless, and Scentless, but not the traditional kind. The kind that appeared in my dreams.

**~**~**~**~**

Clary struggled with what to do about the statue and what exactly it meant. Should she tell Jace? Luke? The Lightwoods? Her mother? It was all too confusing. Too confusing and stressful.

That sense of dread still lingered in the air. Why? Clary didn't know. She knew she was just overreacting and the Red Bull didn't help much with the fluttery, erratic beating of her heart.

She wanted to see Jace, seek comfort out in him, he always made her feel safe. But she needed to clear her head and think things through before she goes and sees Jace.

What was she going to tell him? More importantly, what would his reaction be? She didn't want to tell him anything that could possibly endanger him. If he knew how scared she was of these runes, he'd insist her Marking him, or her draw them out so he could Mark himself. Neither would she stand for. And the last rune, the scariest, the biggest, the most complex and demanding rune, he would insist she draw as well. He would take things head-on, throw his fears aside, something Clary still wasn't very good at.

But maybe she should let Jace do what she thought he was going to. She could Mark them both, and they would go through everything together. They were part-angel, they were probably the best candidates to even do it.

More than anything, she wanted to talk to Luke about it. He'd know what to do, how to handle things. Clary couldn't remember the last time she felt like she needed Luke this badly.

And Jace, she sought out the comfort he gave her, how secure and warm she felt when she was with him, how absolutely perfect he was for her.

Clary was disgusted with how many women he'd been with, but he couldn't change that or take it back. If he could, she knew he would. And how could she really blame him for it? Most of them were when he hadn't even known her, and a few were when he thought that Clary was his sister. She'd feel a little better if he got tested... but they could deal with that some other time.

For now, these runes were what they had to focus on.

Sure, Kali had the runes in her dreams, but what did it mean? And where was that fourth rune...? Clary felt like the stress of everything was weighing down on her harder and harder, before it would finally just make her snap.

**AN: Short chapter, but they're getting bigger and better from here on out. I sense a rising plot coming your way... You have no idea how important this chapter is to the story, so thank ClarissaMogenstern for that by reading and reviewing her stories :) **

**Speaking of read and reviewing, well... I write so much faster when they come in... ​favorites and alerts please me, but nothing beats a good ol' review!**


	5. Wake Up World

**Chapter Five: Wake Up World**

**AN: If you're uncomfortable with a little slash... well, prepare to be kind of uncomfortable...**

Clary had managed to stay up the entire night. Her stomach churned a bit as she opened the thick curtains to take a peek at the world outside.

The skies were a bleak white-grey color, covering the entire sky. No clouds, no color. New York, of all places, had a dead feel to it.

Clary looked at the clock, eight twenty-three. Jace was surely up and worried sick. Maybe as much as she was. Clary took one more look outside and saw a black crow fly by the window, cawing.

Clary's nervousness multiplied a tenfold. She made her way outside, grabbing her jacket, bracing herself for the ominous weather. She didn't wait to hail a cab, she took Luke's keys and hijacked his truck. Clary looked around as she made her way to the Institute, shocked. She saw the usual, people riding bikes or walking, people in cars and cabs. But the unusual thing was the lifelessness to it all. Everything and everyone was so... lackluster.

When she arrived at the Institute, she tried to take off it's strange glamour, but it didn't work. She concentrated until her head hurt, then she relaxed. She opened her eyes, expecting to see the old Institute, but, no... What kind of glamour was this? Clary tried taking it off again until she realized it was no glamour. The Institute just seemed... broken. Dead. Which increased her anxiety even more. She knew something bad had happened or something bad was going to happen. Only one person came to her mind.

Jace.

She parked recklessly outside of the Institute's gates, and hurried her way in. She threw open the doors and collided with Jace.

"Oh, Jace, thank God," Clary said, holding onto him for dear life.

"It's okay, Clary, it's okay," Jace said, stroking Clary's hair, comforting her. She knew how mad he must be for her just leaving, but his relief and compassion stifled his anger and worry.

"I'm so sorry," Clary whispered into Jace's chest.

Jace rubbed Clary's back. "No, I'm sorry. I don't own you, I'm not your father... _or_ your brother, thank God, and you shouldn't have to tell me where you're going to be every second."

"Jace," Clary said, pulling back some. "There's something I need to tell you."

Jace looked worried for a moment, nodding for her to continue.

"I... I've been having dreams, if you could even call them that. It's more like horrible messages being sent to me while being unconscious. They're taking over my life, Jace. I can't even sleep anymore, I'm too afraid they won't let me wake up. I just... I don't know what to do. And I wish someone, Luke or my mom was here, at least."

"Did you even go to sleep last night, Clary?" She shook her head no. "I don't like this. But you're not alone. You have me, you have Marys and Robert, who aren't the most... compassionate people in the world, but they truly do care for you. You have Isabelle and Alec. Hell, you've even got Simon, the damn leech who'll let you Mark on him, risking death, just to placate you. And you have Maia who's becoming strangely attached to you, probably because she knows how much you mean to Simon. And you've got Magnus, who you've only known for a little while, but he's known you almost your entire life."

"I know," Clary said, "but there's something else you need to see."

"Hold on, I'm going to ask Marys and Robert if we can skip training," Jace said, taking Clary's hand and leading her upstairs.

Jace knocked lightly on his parent's door.

"Come in," they heard and slowly opened the door.

The gasped as they saw Marys sitting upright, leaning on her headboard of her bed. Her eyes were dull and weary, and there were heavy bags under her eyes. Robert lay sleeping beside her, oblivious of all around him.

"Um, Marys, are you alright?" Clary asked. She'd never seen Marys like this before.

"I'm fine, dear. Is there something you two needed?"

_Dear? _ Clary thought. She'd never heard Marys use any term of endearment before. Something really must be wrong.

"Would it be alright if we missed training today?" Jace asked. "Clary hasn't gotten much sleep lately, and she didn't go to sleep last night."

Marys raised her right eyebrow questioningly, looking back and fourth between Clary and Jace.

"Nothing happened, she's just been having nightmares," Jace explained. "I was hoping she could get some sleep. She's in no shape to train, and frankly, neither am I."

"It's fine, I was thinking of giving you kids a day off today anyway," Marys said, dismissing them with a small smile.

"Thank you," Jace said, closing the door behind him.

"That was strange," Clary said, shaking her head.

"And everything else is just so normal?" Jace asked, making his way to Luke's truck.

Clary got in the driver's side and sped off to Luke's.

*~~*~~*~~*

"_Now_ are you going to tell me what's so life altering important?" Jace asked as he stepped out of the truck. "Or are we now going to play a game of twenty questions for me to find out?"

Clary rolled her eyes at him, not even trying to placate his impatience.

"Is it life or death? Will the world implode if we don't do something about it? Is there a secret passage way to another dimension in Luke's fucking bookstore? Do we have to pull out the right book to get there?"

"Typically, while playing twenty questions, you wait until the person answers, or all you're accomplishing is being a major pain in the ass," Clary snapped, her lack of sleep obviously getting to her.

"At least I'm accomplishing something," Jace scoffed, following her inside.

Clary rushed him over to the statue of Kali, the Indian Goddess.

"Yeah. It's Luke's statue," Jace said, worried that his girlfriend had actually lost her mind.

"Yeah, now look at it's wrist," Clary said, thrusting the small statue out to him.

Jace looked at the statue's wrist noticing a few small scratches. "Yeah, we can get these polished right off, Clary, I assure you, it's nothing to freak out about."

"Look closer, you moron," Clary said, pushing his head closer, almost making his nose collide with it. If she couldn't take a scratch on it, Jace couldn't even imagine how she'd react to blood on it. He did look closer, though, and the scratches seemed too... intricate to just be scratches. If he didn't know any better, he'd say they were some kind of runes...

"I don't recognize these," Jace mumbled, looking at the statue from all angles.

"Luckily, I do," Clary spat, causing Jace to look up from the statue and to his girlfriend. "They're some strange form of the simple runes Sightless, Soundless, and Scentless."

"Are these what have been keeping you up?" Jace asked, wondering what these runes could possibly have done to make Clary so anxious and irritable and, most importantly, scared.

"Hardly," she said, rolling her eyes, like Jace could have known any better. "The one that's been keeping me up, I don't think has ever been seen before. Those, on her wrist, are unknown, but not like the fourth one... I could at least read those. This one, all I can get out of it is how sickeningly dangerous and mysterious it is."

"Can you show it to me?" Jace asked, curious what sort of rune could have Clary in this much of a mess.

"I'm afraid, Jace," Clary admitted. "I don't know what will happen."

"And we can't know until we try," Jace said firmly. "We'll try it together. We'll get through this together."

*~~*~~*~~*

Alec's mother gave him the day off. But... why? It was so out of character for her to do such a thing. He worried weather or not she was okay, if there was something Alec should know.

He decided to go to Magnus's. He hadn't been in a while and Magnus was like a drug to him. How Jace and Clary could live without it, Alec would never know... if only Clary really knew why...

I took the subway to Magnus's place, noticing how mundane the mundanes actually were today. They certainly lived up to their names. Whatever, their problems aren't mine, so really, I couldn't give a shit.

I walked the rest of the way, noting the bleak sky to match the day. I heard the weather had more effect on people then they even knew... maybe that was true. Hopefully it wasn't effecting Magnus. Depressed Magnus is... pretty scary. Alec remembered when Magnus was upset because Alec would age and he wouldn't, and Alec would die, and he wouldn't, and how his days were never ending, and all that. It eventually got Alec pretty depressed, too.

"Alec, my lover, to what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" Magnus asked, opening the door.

"My mom canceled training," Alec said, following Magnus into his... originally decorated home. His place just shouted _Magnus_ _Bane!_

"You're an adult Shadowhunter, and you still live with your parents and siblings, and go to training on your mother's watch," Magnus stated, closing the door. "Honestly, darling, that's kind of sad."

"I can move out, quit, or skip training any time I want. I may be an adult, but I'm still working on being a better, responsible Shadowhunter."

"Trust me, Alec, being more responsible is the last thing you should be focusing on. Live it up, you're getting to be a little dull sometimes," Magnus said, rolling his eyes. "You're like the anti-Magnus."

"Well, opposites do attract," Alec said, grinning a little.

"You're thinking of mag_nets_, not Mag_nus_," Magnus said, pouting a little. "I find myself very attractive, hence, I would be attracted to someone exactly like me."

"So you don't find me attractive?" Alec mumbled, looking at his feet.

"Of course I find you attractive, I'm just arguing with you for the hell of it," Magnus grinned. "It's rather entertaining."

"So you are attracted to me...?" Alec asked.

"Yes, you lovable idiot."

"So you're admitting that opposites do attract," Alec said, smirking.

"I'm gay, you fool. If you were truly my opposite your name would be Alice rather than Alec, and your hard Shadowhunter muscles would be replaced with slightly squishy, hairless flesh and D-cups."

"D-cups," Alec scoffed. "In your dreams, warlock."

"Trust me," Magnus said flatly. "I don't dream of D-cups. If I did, you'd be in trouble, Shadowhunter."

Alec could tell there was something Magnus wanted to talk about, but was avoiding.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked tentatively.

"I'm fine," Magnus said a little too enthusiastically.

"If you say so..." Alec said, not believing it. But Alec knew if there was something bothering Magnus, to just wait until he finally cracks and spills everything.

"I do say so. I also say we make our way to the bedroom."

Alec smiled as Magnus dragged him to his room. His very Magnus-y room.

As soon as the door was closed, Magnus attacked Alec with his lips, avoiding the conversation that was bound to happen, whatever that conversation may be. Not that Alec minded, though. He didn't mind one bit...

Magnus's lips made their way over Alec's skin frantically, covering every exposed inch of it. It wasn't long before his shirt was being unbuttoned, so Magnus could reach even more of Alec's lean body.

Alec threaded his fingers through Magnus's hair, tugging a little. Magnus unbuttoned the last button and hastily pushed it off Alec's muscular shoulders. Alec's thin undershirt didn't leave much to the imagination. Although, Magnus didn't need imagination to know what Alec's body looked like...

Magnus tore the undershirt right down the middle, in no mood to take his time. In all honesty, it turned Alec on even more so.

Alec bit his lip in attempt to stop any embarrassing noises from escaping him. He almost drew blood when Magnus kissed, licked, and nipped his way down to just below his bellybutton. Making his way back up,he flicked his tongue over each of Alec's nipples. Alec let out a repressed grunt-sigh noise, clenching his jaw afterward.

"Alec, it's perfectly normal to make a little noise. It's a little _abnormal_ not to, actually," Magnus pointed out.

"Living in an echo-y, old house with five other people, I'm accustomed to not making any noises," Alec panted.

"Are you insinuating that you do things that cause you to make noise?" Magnus teased, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you surprised...?" Alec asked, raising an eyebrow to match Magnus. He'd been an in-the-closet gay for as long as he could remember, what the hell else did Magnus expect he would do?

"No," he stated simply. "You know... I think I'd like to watch."

"Uh," Alec said, nervous all of a sudden. He croaked the next word like he'd been without water for days. "Watch?

"Yes, you know, as in seeing, looking, observing, any of those ring a bell?"

"Why do you want to watch?" Alec asked in almost a whisper.

"Because it'd be pretty hot."

"Um, okay," Alec said, taking a deep breath. Alec had never really been one for voyeurism of any kind, but he'd be willing to try... thousands of worry-filled thoughts and 'what-ifs' coursed though his mind, but he pushed those thoughts aside. Well, he tried to, at least. He fumbled awkwardly with his belt, finally getting it undone. He unbuttoned and shoved his pants down, until he was in his underwear only.

"Take it off!" Magnus called out, followed by a whistle. Alec blushed and smiled at that, pulling his underwear down, stepping out of them.

Alec wrapped his hand around his member, like he'd dome so many times before, though this was so different.

It wasn't so bad actually... he started out slowly, working his way up and down, making sure to let his thumb rub over his sensitive head every time he reached it. He closed his eyes, his head leaning back, like he usually did. He let a soft, low moan escape fro his throat. This really wasn't so bad after all... it was actually pretty good... _really_ good. Surprisingly enough, Alec found it kind of hot to be watched. They'd have to do this more often.

Alec started going a little faster, his breaths becoming more shallow. He faintly realized Magnus coming closer to him, but his release was the first thing on his mind. Alec knew he was getting closer, his grip tightening just a little bit. Grunts and moans were escaping his lips, and he didn't care.

He was on edge, getting closer and closer. The next thing he knew, Magnus's lips wrapped around his tip, sending him over the edge. He came in Magnus's mouth, spurt after spurt. That was the most he'd come in a long time.

Magnus stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Alec looked at him with sheer amazement. "What? I wasn't going to risk you staining my carpet."

*~~*~~*~~*

Clary curled up with Jace on the couch, watching V for Vendetta. Good movie, but Clary could barely keep her eyes open. She yawned a few times, snuggling into Jace's chest, before he picked her up and carried her to her room in Luke's apartment.

"You finally ready to get some sleep?" Jace asked, setting her down, throwing the covers over her.

"If you join me," Clary yawned. She felt so much safer with Jace near her. "And I'm not implying anything sexual, I literally just want you to sleep with me. You know, non-sexually."

"Of course," Jace said, taking his jacket and pants off before getting in.

Normally, Clary would have made some sort of remark about him undressing after she said she just wanted to sleep, but she was out cold before he even got under the covers.

Jace wrapped his arms around Clary, pulling her to him. She obliged, even in her sleep, practically laying on top of him. Not that he minded.

He alternated between stroking her hair and lightly rubbing her back, getting a little tired himself. He was just about to fall asleep when he heard Clary moaning in her sleep. Before he got too excited, he realized it wasn't the good kind of moaning.

"No... please," Clary mumbled against Jace's chest. "Stop... no... it hurts."

Jace didn't want to wake her up, he wasn't sure how easily she'd fall back asleep, but he didn't want her having nightmares either.

Jace felt warm drops of moisture soak through his shirt, he looked down to realize Clary was crying in her sleep.

"Shh..." Jace whispered, trying to comfort her. "It's okay, baby, I'm here. It's okay."

"Jace..." she muttered, sounding a little less stressed out. "Jace."

"Go to sleep, baby, it's okay," he whispered, a warm feeling spreading inside his chest. He liked the fact that he could comfort her. "It's okay, I'm here."

**AN: There you have it, chapter five. I hope you enjoyed it :-)**

**Now, please, please, please take just a few seconds of your time and hit the little green button below this groveling author's note, and tell me what you think... seriously, it's a little upsetting how many people favorite or alert this story without reviewing. To those of you who do review, thank you so much, they mean so much to me ") which is kind of pathetic, but I'm okay with that.**


	6. One More Day

**Okay, chapter six here I come! Sorry for the delay, I freaking broke my computer D': Then again, I usually break everything I come into contact with, so I'm not too surprised. So now, I'm writing on Microsoft Word on my mom's old desktop computer. Sorry if anything comes out weird, I'm used to writing on Open Office, and it won't download to this computer "/**

**Chapter six: One More Day**

Clary awoke with a stiff neck, her head lying on Jace's warm, muscled chest. She looked around confusedly, taking in her surroundings. She suddenly remembered he previous day, feeling much more well rested than she had in a while. Sitting up to stretch some, she felt the bed jostle a little.

Jace sat up beside Clary, lightly rubbing her back.

"What time is it?" Clary asked, realizing they had gone to bed at around nine-thirty in the morning.

"A quarter 'til four," Jace said, taking a quick glance at his watch.

"So, do you want to deal with everything now, or do you want to put things off for while?" Clary asked. She didn't even know what the problem was yet, what the runes were doing, or better yet, what they _would_ do. It was all too confusing.

"Marys already gave us the day off of training, we might as well take a break from everything today."

Clary liked the sound of that. A day off of everything. No problems, well, none that they would pay any mind to, at least. "What should we do on our day off?"

"I say we watch a movie, order some take out, or a pizza, and lay around, doing nothing like most kids our age," Jace said, smiling at her.

"Not _everything_ most kids our age are doing," Clary mumbled.

"And they say _guys_ have a one-track mind," Jace teased, nudging Clary.

"I just don't get it," Clary said. "Marys knows about Alec and Magnus, I'm sure. She knows about Isabelle and her flavors of the week, and she knew about you and your past _conquests_. Why is it she's just now executing this rule, and only with us?"

Jace sighed, running a hand through his silky, golden-blond hair. "Don't blame Marys."

"What?" Clary asked, dumbfounded. "Who should I blame?"

"Me," Jace said almost inaudibly.

"_You?_" Clary asked, her cheeks on fire from both anger and embarrassment. She stood up to walk to the bathroom, not wanting Jace to see how venerable and hurt she felt.

"Clary wait," Jace said, standing up to grab her wrist. "No," Clary whispered, not turning around. "You made me look like a fool, Jace. If you weren't _interested_, you should have fucking told me. Instead, you go to your mother and have her make up and fucking enforce a fake rule."

"It's not like that, Clary, I--"

"No," Clary cut him off. "Get out."

"But--"

"GET OUT!" Clary yelled, facing Jace for the first time. Tears were threatening to spill over, and like hell was Jace going to see her cry over this. "I don't care about whatever reason you had for doing what you did. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see you. Get out."

"Please, just…"

Clary didn't hear the rest. She slammed the bathroom door in Jace's face, locking it and turning on the water to drown out whatever Jace had to say.

Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she undressed, her throat burning from holding back full out sobs.

Clary stepped into the shower, plugging her ears when she heard Jace's voice above the rushing water.

After a while, she took them out. Jace wasn't talking. Hopefully he'd gone back to the Institute. She finished washing up, feeling a tiny bit better after her shower. How stupid she felt. Here she was, throwing herself at Jace, making it clear how much she wanted him, and in reality, he was going through all kinds of lengths because his feelings didn't match hers. He could have just said something. Instead of putting up some sick façade, making Clary believe he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

Was this some kind of sick pleasure for him? Watching Clary pine after him, while he knew she wouldn't do anything? Bastard…

It hurt to think of Jace like that. Maybe… maybe he did love her, he just didn't _lust_ after her. Which still hurt.

When she emerged from the bathroom, her skin flushed, a towel wrapped around her head, and a thick robe on, Jace was sitting on her bed.

Clary ignored him as best she could. At least, she pretended to ignore him. Really, his presence was overwhelming.

"Please let me explain," Jace said, getting up to walk closer to him.

Clary made no move to stop him or to tell him to carry on. She acted like he wasn't there/

"I love you, Clarissa," he said, kneeling beside where she was sitting.

"But you don't lust after me," Clary finished, still not looking at him. "It's fine. I understand."

"No. You don't understand," Jace said, taking her hand and pulling her up. She was facing him, but refused to look his way. She felt his strong hands gently grab her face, pulling it to meet his. She planted a soft, warm kiss on her lips. Keeping them there, but remaining still. He pulled back, looking her in the eyes. "I love you. _And_ I lust after you, more than you could imagine."

"Then why?" Clary whispered.

"Because, you're different from any other woman I've been with. I love you, and that's definitely a first. And I don't want to rush things, not with you. I wasn't going to take away your innocence during one heated night in my bedroom at the Institute. Which I knew would happen. I wanted to make things special for you. And if I told you that, what would you tell me?"

"I… I would tell you that it would be special no matter what," Clary whispered.

"And if Marys didn't enforce the rule, things would get carried away between us sooner or later, and I'd never forgive myself."

"You should have talked to me about it," Clary said, leaving it at that.

"I know. I know I should have."

_Well, this changes things_, Clary thought. She really didn't expect a word of what Jace had just said.

Clary knew Jace wanted to make her first time perfect, but she didn't even _believe_ in a perfect first time. She really wished Jace hadn't had done this.

"I just can't believe it," Clary said, shaking her head.

"I know, I'm so sorry I lied to you," Jace said solemnly.

"Not that," Clary said, "the fact that I could have gotten rid of my V-card a long time ago."

Jace looked a little confused, so Clary decided to clarify.

"I don't care about my first time being 'perfect'. I don't even think it could be. It's going to hurt, and it'll be messy, and honestly, I just want to get it over with."

"Really, Clary?"

"Yes," Clary whined. "Jace, my virginity has actually gotten between us. I think my hymen is causing us relationship problems."

A smile played on Jace's lips. "How so?"

"One, being as sexually frustrated as I am, it's making me kind of irritable. Don't tell me you haven't noticed. I'm pretty sure it's taken a toll on you, too. Two, _this_ would never have happened. Three… I don't know, it just is!"

"God, I'm sorry Clary," Jace apologized for the _thousandth_ time.

"You could stop apologizing and do something about it…" Clary unsubtly hinted.

"_Now?_" Jace asked, looking around.

"It's out day off, why not?" Clary laughed.

"Why don't we wait a _little_ bit before jumping right into things?" Jace suggested.

"Fine," Clary agreed. "Let's watch a movie."

Clary knew she'd be set free of her little… _burden_ before the movie ended. Hopefully.

*~~*~~*~~*

Clary got dressed, much to her dismay, following Jace out into the living room. They ended up watching The Duchess. One of the most boring movies Clary had ever seen. Clary knew how tedious the movie was when she picked it out, but that was all apart of her plan.

About ten minutes into the movie, she could tell Jace was already bored _and_ frustrated with the movie.

"What do those sub captions even say?" he asked, shaking his head.

"What's with the rush into the marriage? They should have shown her life beforehand a little," Jace mumbled, making Clary smile. Such a critic…

"Are you enjoying the movie, Jace?" Clary asked, smiling up at him.

"No," Jace answered, "have you seen this movie before?"

"Not all of it," Clary answered truthfully. After the first hour into the seemingly endless movie, she ended up stopping it to watch X-Men three instead. "We don't have to watch a movie…."

Clary leaned over to kiss Jace chastely on the corner of his mouth, lingering for only a few seconds.

Clary held her breath until Jace finally leaned over to kiss her back. Their lips moved simultaneously against each other, but it was still too… PG for Clary's mood. She wanted it rated freaking XXX.

Clary shuddered as she felt Jace's smooth tongue slide over her lower lip. Clary eagerly opened her mouth, accepting his warm tongue to explore his mouth. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips, causing Jace to smile with her.

Clary threaded her fingers through Jace's soft golden hair, clenching her fingers around his soft locks, pulling him closer at the same time. Jace attacked her mouth with his lips, kissing her hungrily. Clary leaned back so they were laying down on the couch, Jace settled in between her legs.

Clary moaned in his mouth as he began to grind his hardening bulge into her. He lifted his lips from hers, only so they could travel down her neck and collarbone. "God, Jace…"

"I want you, Clary," Jace practically growled, nipping and licking at her neck. He had no clue what those four words did to her. Not just physically, but her heart fluttered and an overwhelming feeling of happiness washed over her. She felt foolish for thinking Jace didn't want her the way she wanted him. She didn't _fully_ understand why he did what he did, but she would inquire about that later. Now, she was just a little distracted…

Clary worked the buttons on Jace's shirt, praying he wouldn't stop her.

Her prayers worked, apparently.

On her fourth button down, Jace leaned up slightly to rip the damn thing off, buttons flying everywhere. He shrugged it off of his broad shoulders, and down his well muscled arms of a Shadowhunter.

Losing contact with Clary seemed to clear Jace's head as he pulled a frustrated Clary up from the couch.

"I didn't wait this long," Jace started, staring into Clary's eyes, hypnotizing her, almost, "so you could lose it on Luke's couch in board daylight, with a crappy movie playing in the background."

Clary smiled up at him, hoping he wasn't planning on waiting much longer. Clary felt as if she were going to explode.

Jace grabbed Clary's hand and took her to her bedroom. Clary's heart was pounding out of control, butterflies filling her stomach.

Jace reached up to pull Clary's thick curtains closed, efficiently shutting out most of the light. Clary bit her lip in anticipation for what was bound to happen next.

"Clary, are you sure?" Jace asked, making his way back over to her. "We can always wait just a few more days, what's the rush?"

"The rush is, this should have happened a while ago, and honestly, I have no idea what's in store for us tomorrow when we have to deal with these goddamn runes," Clary said in a rush.

"You want to have sex with me," Jace said slowly, "because you think we're going to die."

Clary groaned and rolled her eyes. Of course Jace would read too much into that. "No, I want to have sex with you because I'm extremely attracted to you and we've got a golden opportunity to do… said activity. And the fact that I have no clue what's in store for us tomorrow is merely even more of a motive."

"In that case…" Jace said with a smirk, making his way over to her.

Clary's heart sped up as Jace made his way over to her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer to him. The second their lips touched, Clary could have sworn she saw fireworks, and felt sparks, and everything else people feel in cheesy, clichéd romance novels and movies.

Clary wrapped her legs around Jace's torso, bringing them closer together. She deepened the kiss, opening her mouth to invite Jace's tongue inside.

Jace pulled back to life Clary's top off in a rush. He walked them to the bed, Clary laying under him.

"Are you sure, Jace?" Clary asked, not wanting him to regret anything.

He laughed, much to Clary's confusion. "For some reason, I always thought it would be _me_ asking _you_ that."

Clary's laugh was quickly cut off with a gasp as Jace attached his lips to the top of her breasts, lightly kissing and licking to where her bra cut off. Clary arched her back, and Jace wasted no time unclasping her bra, throwing it somewhere across the room.

"Oh, God," Clary breathed as Jace too one of her taut nipples into his warm mouth. His mouth became even more fervent, as his hands worked on pulling down Clary's sweatpants, Clary kicked them off, eager to show Jace what was underneath.

"No underwear?" Jace asked calmly, although the look in his eyes was anything but calm.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out except for a nervous giggle.

Jace quickly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them and his navy boxers off in one swift movement.

Clary's breathing hitched. She knew Jace was big, but it was really dawning on her that she'd have to fit _all_ of that into her. She didn't even know if that was possible.

"Are you sure?" Jace asked. Clary rolled her eyes. Of course she was sure, she'd been sure for quite a while. Nervous, but sure. She thought…

"I'm _positive,_" Clary said, reinforcing it with a smile.

Clary closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling of Jace nuzzling her neck. He placed both his hands on her ribs, slowly sliding them down. Clary whimpered as he reached the top of her thighs, resting his hands there.

Clary gasped when he moved his hands to her wet center, he thumb rubbing her sensitive clit. Clary tried to enjoy it, but she was too nervous.

She saw Jace reach to get something out of his wallet. A condom. Of course. She shuddered, thinking about Luke's….

"Are you ready?" Jace asked, obviously excited. You'd think it was _his_ first time.

"Yes," Clary answered, nodding her head. She shut her eyes, bracing herself for the oncoming pain.

Jace slowly slid himself into her, stretching her more than she thought possible. With one nod from Clary, he thrust himself all the way in, breaking her barrier. And dear fucking God, it hurt.

Clary shut her eyes and arched her back, trying not to let a tear escape. Only Jace took her little movement as _pleasure_ not pain. He started going faster, Clary bit her lip to keep from screaming. The most she'd had was one, occasionally two, _tips_ of her fingers in her, and now _this_. She bit her lip to distract herself from the pain.

It was more of a dull pain, throbbing pain, but it was still there. She wished more than anything that Jace would slow down, but like hell would she ask him that. She would fake it.

"Oh, Jace," she sighed, _please, please stop_, she added mentally.

"Clary," Jace grunted, going faster. At least it would be over faster. His grunts and moans grew more frequent, signaling to Clary that hers should too.

She wrapped her legs tightly around Jace's midsection, trying to still his movements. But Jace wouldn't have to know that.

After what seemed like forever, but was probably a minute or so, Jace moaned her name, filling the condom. And, thank god, he slowed. And then stopped.

"God, Clary, I'm so sorry," Jace said, pulling out of her. The emptiness felt strange now, but it was welcomed. "It's just it's been a while, and you know… I could--"

"No," Clary said a little too quickly. "It was great, Jace. I'm sure next time will be even better."

Clary hated lying to Jace, but she didn't see any other option. It wasn't a full lie, at least. Next time _had_ to be better… right?

Clary excused herself to take a shower again. She felt sticky and a little gross. Not that what she did with Jace was gross, not at all. She couldn't help that… _dirty_ feeling she felt. Maybe they should have waited. It was rushed, in the middle of the day, not romantic at all…

Jace had been right. He knew Clary better than she did herself.

_No, _Clary corrected_. He knows sex better than I do_.

**AN: Not what you expected, huh? A friend helped me write it, just because I felt weird writing a huge lemon alone… So I give you the most realistic first time lemon on Fan Fiction! That I know of at least… But their sex life will get better, I promise. Originally, this chapter was going to be, well, **_**better**_**. Sorry it sucked, but I'm really stressed, my baby (okay, my computer, but he was a part of me) is DEAD, and not in the low battery way. He's in computer heaven. Along with all my stories, ideas, pictures, story lines (like my chapter outlines!), and much more. AND I leave for boarding school tomorrow at five-thirty in the fucking morning, and I haven't even packed yet. **


	7. Runes

**What?!?! An update?!?! Yeah… I could have conceived and HAD A BABY in the time between this update and my last one. Of course I didn't, but still, that amount of time is ridiculous. **

**BTW Mortal Instruments actually doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Cassandra Clare. And Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and NOT Cassandra Clare ;) btw, how many of you guys knew she had a FanFiction page and wrote about HP but got kicked off for plagiarism? Cause that was certainly news to me! Haha.**

**Chapter Seven: Solving the Insoluble**

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths._

Wasn't breathing supposed to be a reflex? Clary wondered why the hell she had to tell herself to breath in order to stay alive. It was as ridiculous as telling her hear to beat.

"Clary, breath," Jace reminded her gently.

"UGH!" Clary exclaimed, irritated at her body. Well, her respiratory system, that is. Stupid lungs.

"Calm down, Clary. You're just panicking," Jace said.

"I kind of have a right to be," Clary huffed, annoyed by Jace's calm demeanor.

"Just close your eyes, think of the runes, and draw. You've done it plenty of times before."

"But which ones?" Clary asked frantically. "What goes first? Which go together? What ones go where?!"

"Don't think about it so hard. Just do it," Jace instructed a little harshly. He was getting impatient, and he wasn't even in a good mood to start with. After Clary had denied him sex that morning, he started to get in a foul mood. She was still sore, he could get over it. At least she _thought_ he could.

"Fine," Clary said, turning to face him. She yanked his arm out and drew the first three runes on him.

"Thank you," Jace said in an exasperated tone. With Jace, Clary learned to expect the unexpected, but seriously, who would _thank_ someone after they drew an unknown rune on them? He didn't seem the least bit worried they would fail. He was confident in them. In Clary.

"You're welcome…" Clary said confusedly. The runes, she thought, were supposed to make Jace disappear. _Soundless, Sightless, and Scentless._

"What's wrong?" Jace asked, looking between her and his arm, finally showing a tiny hint of nervousness.

"I can hear you. And see you," Clary leaned forward a bit. "And you smell like yourself, too.

"_Nullus sanus, visum, scaena_," Jace nodded. An older rune. Only works on Downworlders."

"Demons…" Clary said.

"Says the best friend of a vampire," Jace mumbled.

"Whatever," Clary said, snapping out of her trans. "Mark me."

Jace picked up the stele carefully, drawing the figures on Clary's arm. Clary smirked as he inconspicuously lifted his arm a bit to look the runes Clary had drawn. Clary decided she wouldn't call him out on it though.

It stung a bit, but no more than the typical rune. It _felt_ normal. The stinging turned into a tingling, and Clary hoped more than anything that they worked.

"Time for the last rune," Jace said.

Clary took a deep breath and took a few steps down into the poorly lit basement. She grasped Jace's hand as she went down. "Do you have a witchlight?"

Clary heard a click and suddenly the room was illuminated. "I have a witchlight, but you have a light bulb."

Clary looked up at the bright, single bulb hanging from the ceiling. "Oh."

The room looked like any old basement. Until you looked closely. The boxes were filled with mythical books and artifacts. There were various weapons were on shelves used for killing various creatures. And there was a near empty back wall, perfect for Clary's last rune. The one that scared her the most.

She confidently walked over to the wall, closed her eyes, placed the tip of her stele on the smooth cement, and started drawing. She opened her eyes and took in the rune with horror. It was… indescribable. Having drawn it in person was even more horrifying than in her dreams. It was like a portal, but so, so _wrong._

"Clary…?" Jace asked. "What exactly is that?"

"I don't know," Clary said, gasping, "but it's moving."

The rune was crawling across the wall, slithering and unwinding in every direction, like a poisonous, squirming snake. A horrible stench was emitting from the growing hole in the center. Clary gulped, finally realizing what it was.

Clary had just drawn a portal to the demon world.

"What… the _fuck_ did you just draw?" Jace asked, looking incredulously at the gaping hole in the wall. The hole that lead to a dimension no human, let alone Shadowhunter, has ever been to.

"So… you wanna go in first?" Clary asked. She wanted to close the portal, ban the runes, and forget that this ever happened. But she couldn't. No way in hell could Jace pretend like this never happened.

"Let's… close it up for right now. Gear up, and come back to it when we're good and prepared," Jace said calmly.

Clary quickly closed the portal, eager to get rid of it. Jace led her up to her bedroom and started stripping down immediately. She knew she should close her eyes or turn away, but she couldn't help but to gawk and stare like some kind of stalker. Her eyes hungrily roamed his body, lingering on his defined abs and broad chest.

She forced her eye away from his chest only to see his full lips turned upwards into a cocky smirk. A smirk she met with one of her own, because she, too had something to be cocky about.

_I tapped that._

Maybe _that's why_ girls had sex. For the feeling of achievement and pride. Well, maybe not pride.

Of course guys got the feeling of accomplishment _and _it felt good. Lucky bastards.

"Like what you see, Clary?" Jace asked, his smirk still in place.

"Not as much as you do," she replied with a wink, pulling off her shirt. Normally, Clary wouldn't have been so brave. At most a blush or maybe a small 'yes,' would have been her reply. Maybe it was the sex. Yeah… that was it.

Jace and Clary continued their little teasing game until Jace was growing significantly in his boxers and Clary's underwear was embarrassingly wet.

Jace smirked at Clary once more, his thumbs in the waist of his tented boxers.

"I'm uh… gonna go finish changing in the bathroom," Clary mumbled, her bravery suddenly vanishing.

Jace smirk fell as Clary turned her back to him, scurrying into her bathroom.

Clary sighed as she closed the door shut behind her. She leaned against it and groaned in frustration. She obviously _wanted_ Jace. Her underwear could attest to that. But why would her body crave something so… uncomfortable and unpleasant? It was an enigma to Clary, and one she would have to worry about at a much more convenient time. She quickly changed and met Jace in her living room where they were prepared to face their possible demise.

She chastised herself for thinking like that, but she knew it was true.

Jace grasped her hand and led her down to the basement. His good mood from the bedroom was gone, but she didn't think he was mad at her.

Clary reopened the portal and redrew the runes on Jace and her. It was a little less stressful than before, now that she knew what she was up against and what the runes did, but it was still hard nonetheless.

"You ready?" Jace asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be… can't we call Isabelle and Alec? Maybe even Simon and Magnus?" Clary pleaded.

"No. If they came you know we wouldn't go. Alec would want to get information to Idris before we do anything, and if they found out, you know they would use you and keep you there. With the power to draw a rune like _that_," Jace said, nodding towards the horrific portal, "you'd be kept under their control for the rest of your life. You'd be considered too dangerous. Especially considering who your father is and what he did. And even if we _could _convince him not to tell just yet, you know Simon wouldn't let you or Isabelle go. And Magnus wouldn't let Alec go. And neither of them could go since they're Downworlders and the runes wouldn't work on them."

"I… guess you're right. But shouldn't we at least leave a note or something incase we don't come back?"

"Clary, you listen to me," Jace said, grasping Clary's shoulders and making intense eye contact,. "We _will_ come back."

All Clary could do was nod as she turned her head back to the portal.

"Count of three?" Jace suggested.

Again, Clary nodded and listened as Jace slowly counted.

"One…"

"Two…"

Clary sucked in a breath of air, not knowing what kind of polluted air she'd have to breath once she reached wherever it was her portal was taking them.

"Three."

Clary and Jace stepped in, and in no time Clary felt the familiar yet sickening falling sensation. Only it was about thirty million times worse than usual.

It took everything Clary had not to scream. But she did lock Jace's hand in a death grip. That much she couldn't control.

As they descended, the putrid smell got stronger. Clary felt her eyes water and her throat burn. She gagged on the rancid air.

She and Jace tumbled to the ground as they reached their destination.

Clary looked around and had only one intelligible thought running through her head.

_That damn portal is _nothing_ compared to this hellish place._

Hell. That was pretty much the only way to describe where she had just taken Jace and herself. The innermost circle of Hell. And that's exactly what it was.

Clary couldn't even make out her surroundings entirely with her watering eyes, but she knew it was bad.

She rubbed at her eyes and regretted it the moment she did.

She and Jace had landed in the middle of demon rush hour.

They surrounded the Shadowhunters, but not one of them notices she or Jace.

Jace wasted no time carefully and swiftly pulling Clary out of the midst of the demons and to a less populated area. Only a demon or two skittering near them occasionally.

Clary was still too shocked to speak. She looked around her with a clearer head and wanted to cry and scream at the same time.

Tall creepy figures swaying in the wind Clary soon recognized as trees. Trees that looked as if they were made of long, pointy finger bone, ready to grab you and swallow you whole. The sky was a daunting red color with no stars or clouds or sun, just endless dark red. Although, Clary could see some smoke rising up from the distance, thick, black smoke. There were a couple broken slabs of stones with vines made up of hideously long thorns growing in and on it. Clary assumed they used to be buildings, which seemed odd. The grass, if you could call it that, was sparse and looked burned. The ground was made up of reds and blacks and had scattered bones of various demons.

Wait.

Bones of demons.

Meaning if demons were killed _here_, there was no coming back for them.

She stole a glance at Jace, and it looked as if he figured out the same thing.

"I think," Clary choked out, managing to get Jace's attention immediately, "there's a reason we're here."

Jace nodded, putting his arm around her. "If we kill them here…"

"We've killed them for good," Clary whispered , finishing his thought.

They sat quietly for a while longer, taking in their macabre surroundings. Clary spoke up again

"Jace, we're going to have to tell someone about this," Clary sighed.

"No," Jace said firmly. "We are NOT telling the Council."

"Okay, maybe not the Council… yet. We can start with maybe my mom and Luke. They'd know what to do. But we _will_ have to tell the Council, and soon. We can't keep this to ourselves and you know that. If there's a way to _really _kill demons, they need to know about it. Even if it means I have to live in Idris for the rest of my life and the Council keeps a close eye on me."

"You're right," Jace sighed. "You're right and I hate it. Even with this _New _Council or some shit, I still don't fully trust them. I definitely don't trust them with you. I don't want your life sucked away by those bastards as they exploit your gift and they keep you an--"

"That's _not_ going to happen. And besides, we can worry about that later. Maybe when we're not surrounded by these things," Clary said, nodding towards a particularly grotesque demon passing them. The demons were even more horrible than Clary's imagination could have conjured. Clary had seen countless demons, but there were even more monstrous things here than she'd ever seen.

That, and Clary usually wasn't able to observe them up close without the distraction of trying to slaughter them before they slaughtered her.

"Hey, Clary…" Jace said lightly. "Since demons can't really be killed in our world, but they can kill us, do you think the same thing applies here? Do you think the same thing would apply for us? If we get killed here, we'd merely be transported back to our dimension?"

"I don't really feel like testing that theory, but interesting thought," Clary said. "Now that we know what's here and why we came, what do you say about heading home? I really don't like Hell."

Jace chuckled a little before answering. "I don't really like it here either. But something tells me we're probably going to be back."

"I don't even want to think about that right now."

They made their way to a more secluded place, where there was a huge slab of rock Clary could probably draw her portal on.

Clary took out her stele and began to draw the portal, but instead of opening up and letting them through, her rune withered and died away. Clary tried again, but the same thing happened. She began to hyperventilate at the thought of being stuck here.

"Try the other one," Jace said in a too calm voice. "The one that got us here."

Clary tried that, and it worked. The portal opened up and they stepped though, thinking about home.

The sickening feeling was back and they finally landed.

In the same spot they landed in the first time. They were still in Hell.

"Jace," Clary said in a panicked voice. "What the hell do we do?"

"We could test my theory…," Jace said humorously... Humorous to _him_ at least.

"Seriously, Jace. How do we get home?" Clary asked as they made their way back to their original spot.

"I don't know," Jace said, letting out a breath of air. "But we'll find a way."

Clary looked around, almost looking for some kind of clue that could lead her home. But what she saw only made her want to go home even more.

Clary gulped. "Please tell me I'm not just seeing that." Clary's breathing increased. "Actually, please tell me I _am_."

Jace didn't respond, he just stared at what Clary had found.

"I knew we should have written a freaking note," Clary groaned, her eyes turning towards Jace.

**So… what'd you think? I don't have my profanity filter on, so feel free to curse me out for taking so long without having to use those annoying asterisks. Haha (: **

**What'd you think they saw? How do you think they're gonna get back home? Who saw this coming? How long do you think I'll take till the next chapter??? Haha hopefully not long enough to have another baby ;) I'll update as soon as I can! (I actually have a bit of the next chapter written!) ILY, readers, ILY!!! :D**

**Oh, and does anyone want lemons? I'll gladly write them, but if no one wants them I'll just skip them. And if you do want them feel free to be specific! Nothing will surprise me! Even if you wrote "I'd like there to be a lemony scene in which Clary and Jace have a threesome with a demon while Clary shouts Valentine's name and Jace whips himself. That particular scene would be just dandy."**

**I can't say I'd actually write a lemon like that… although that WOULD be rather interesting. Enough with my ramblings, thanks for reading! **


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